One day back when my daughter was five:
PEYTON: Daddy, can you watch the dinosaurs while I go to the bathroom so Brandon doesn’t mess them up?
PEYTON: They’re going bicycling.
PEYTON: They’re wearing their helmets.
They’re actually rocks and boulders from the Animal World Big Tub of Dinosaurs.
My daughter drew this in her school journal back in March. When she brought it home, I asked her what the girls were dreaming. She replied, “They’re not dreaming. They’re wondering why there’s never been a girl president.”
Me too, Peyton. Me too.
So I know a guy who works for the environmental services department in a children’s hospital down in Florida. For those of you who don’t know what that is, environmental services is the department that’s responsible for cleaning the rooms and the medical instruments and so on.
This guy—who’s in his 50s—has been doing this job for several years now, but even just after a few months working there when he first started, he quickly developed a reputation in the hospital.
ME: [Bugging my eyes out and staring at Peyton while she eats her popsicle.]
PEYTON: Daddy, why are looking at me like that? [Bugs her eyes out and stares back.]
ME: [Keeps staring.]
PEYTON: You’re giving me a nightmare.
After Peyton’s second tooth fell out yesterday, the wife said to her, “When I was younger, the tooth fairy only gave me one dollar after my first tooth—the first tooth is special.” P inquired, “Did you write her a note?” The wife responded, “No.” Then P says, “That’s because you didn’t write her a note! I’m going to write her a note.”
This is the note she wrote:
As you can imagine, we had no idea how to attain these items in the real world, so thinking of a response that wouldn’t upset Peyton was a little Continue reading