I think the key word you use is reflexive. Typically, the only times I’ve seen anything in a community reach reflex or instinct is when the group has practiced something enough that it becomes so. There are exceptions, of course, though they are typically negative. For example, groups can act instinctively when they behave according to their already ingrained fallen natures (e.g. diffusion of responsibility which leads to inaction). Also, sometimes in major tragedies, people will behave in radically generous ways. But I believe consistent reflex takes much training and discipline. (Malcolm Gladwell talks about this in his book Outliers.) The black church acted graciously toward the teenage girl and her baby because the congregants had experience, trained, and lived the grace they had shown.

I think part of the reason you have experienced much judgement and condemnation from churches is because those communities both misunderstand Jesus’s message and they have failed to drill the gospel into their communal life and actions. Abortion, in fact, is indefensible from a biblical perspective. I have scoured the Christian pro-choice arguments, and I have found them not only lacking, but utterly convoluted. The hermeneutical gymnastics Christian pro-choice adherents have to engage in to reach their conclusions are painful to read. But this is where many Christian pro-life advocates get it wrong. They believe that because the Bible is so clearly pro-life, they are to defend that moral stance vigorously. Consequently, they often stand in judgement of others who do not share their worldview. Jesus, however, does nothing like this. What so many pro-life folks fail to remember is that Jesus raised the bar of morality so high, that even they themselves could not stand if they were to be judged. In Romans 1, Paul explains that the world is in a bad place, but then he shocks the readers by saying that anyone who stands in prideful judgement of the very world he just described is just as lost. The gospel solution to this is that even though everyone is lost (including those in “morally superior” positions, like pro-life folks), they receive compassion and grace from Jesus. This grace and compassion is then what we must show to those who struggle with various things like abortion.

Jesus never advocates prostitution and adultery. In fact, he condemns it on the Sermon on the Mount. Nevertheless, when he meets those folks struggling with those particular sins, he doesn’t condemn them. Instead, he shows them radical compassion, and he shows them that he came to pay for their sins so they could live freely for God. Basically, he takes the cost. And by this act of love, he compels them no longer to live in sin. Churches who condemn those who’ve had abortions have forgotten this radical message. They believe they are the moral vanguards of society, when they are supposed to be dispensers of truth and radical grace.

Once a church gets this, they should change their approach to those who’ve had abortions and those who advocate the practice, and take concrete measures to ingrain this new attitude into the community and its practices. (I’ll flesh this out in the future post.) Only then will it become relfexive.

I also believe that sometimes people feel that they are being condemned and attacked when they are not. (I’m not talking about you, but I’m just making a general observation.) It’s ironic that when the church speaks out against something we agree is wrong (like human trafficking and sexual slavery), we nod our heads and applaud. But when the church speaks out against something we disagree with, suddenly we feel condemned. I know some folks who hear me preach on abortion and premarital sex, and they feel they’ve been condemned or that the church condemns them when I did nothing of the sort in the sermon. In fact, I word those sermons very carefully because I want to make sure the gospel is heard. Most folks say the gospel was very clear, but there is a minority that feels condemned. At that point, it’s simply that they are in disagreement with me and that they perceive they are being condemned because of that disagreement. So whenever people tell me they feel condemned, I always try to speak with them to see what’s at the root of their experience – their conscience or actual condemnation.

I personally believe that the gospel teaches us to fight for the marginalized and voiceless, as the feminist pastor teaches. We are to fight and to speak on their behalf. But it is also my belief that the unborn are by far the most voiceless and marginalized population. The Christian position is not to pit one marginalized population against another marginalized group; rather, we are to hold these groups in our hearts, and do the hard work of trying to find a solution that shows grace to all. Unfortunately, in a fallen world, morally and biologically speaking, circumstances surrounding a pregnancy can result in impossible and heart-wrenching choices. Even so, the Christian call is to find a way to love radically in the midst of it all. (Again, I will write much more on this later.)

I find both pro-life and pro-choice folks fail miserably at the above. Many pro-life adherents fight very hard to overturn Roe v. Wade, but they don’t lift a finger for those left in the wake of their campaigns (though, there are very notable exceptions). On the other hand, many pro-choice Christian folk fight with passion for women rights, but they don’t bat an eyelash at a life cut short in utero (which, biblically, is considered a life). Christians have adopted the simplistic formulations of the Christian right or the culture at large, when Jesus calls us to follow the much harder way of following him. The question I always ask Christians when addressing this issue is, Can we do the hard work of fighting for all marginalized parties as Jesus would? Can we stand the moral ground while showing radical love? It will be hard work for both sides, and we need to address the solution systematically and structurally for it to be effective, but it’s something that’s gotta be done for the church to realize its vision in Christ.

I was just about to reply at length, but my son just woke up from his nap. I’ll get back to you soon. I’ve been wanting to reply for a while, but wanted to find enough time to devote to this response as I think the matter requires some solid attention. Excellent question, though.

And it’s awesome that you’re going through hospital chaplaincy. I hope it’s an amazing and blessed experience for you and those to whom you will be ministering. Is it for a large hospital or a small one? I find many hospitals nowadays don’t have chaplaincy programs. Godspeed, Tony!